Archives: July2004

• Five Deaths

  We awoke in a frenzy, 11am. My wife was due to have a Partylite party in no less than three hours, and the host was to arrive even before that. The house was recovering from our niece’s birthday party the previous day, of which we were left to clean. I scrambled to the kitchen sink, and discovered that my wife’s family had used every last dish in the house. I filled the dishwasher fuller than a fat man’s plate at [...]

• School Time

  **Originally appeared on Duckduckduckgoose.com** School buses. They bother the hell out of me. I’m driving, and there they are, on the opposite side of the road, with that flashing stop sign, like a big red beacon that i’ll be at least five minutes late to wherever i was going. Do kids really need me to stop so they can get off a bus? I’ve never once seen kids having to cross the street after they get off the bus. And [...]