Archives: November2003

• Honey Bun Coffee Cake

  So the Pennsylvania turnpike is gay, people. 100 miles, practically all of it under construction. All of it one lane only. All of it infested with tractor trailers. And a nice 20 minute fog infested stretch of road that led a nice detour into the pits of hell. What the fuck, people? Anyway. Had an awesome mid-week weekend. Hanging out with Lauren is like chilling in a cartoon. Everything’s fun and animated. She writes her name in ketchup. She makes [...]

• Pod People

  So, i can’t smile. No, its not because of world events, or because i’m sad. My lips are fucking chapped. This wouldn’t be too unusual, but this is the first time i can remember my lips being chapped with my lipring in. My lip is split down the center, right where flesh meets steel. Fuck, it hurts. Every morning i wake up, and my lip has tried to heal around my ring, with some sort of cocconish material. I wake [...]

• Round Hole – Square Peg

  Two phrases that bother me. “With my luck.” Fucking everyone says this. “With my luck, they’ll all be sold out,” or “With my luck, a tractor trailer will hit us any second.” Well, if everyone has bad luck, doesn’t that, like, cancel it out? Isn’t that just luck, then? Shouldn’t we walk around saying “The world is shitty, and ima get fucked over today,” or “Give me another bite of the shit sandwich.” Yeah, that’s more realistic. And colorful. “Piehole.” [...]

• Halloversary

  So it was our three year wedding anniversary. We did the same old thing anyone would do on their anniversary. Went to a horror convention. Chiller Theatre was in New Jersey for the weekend. Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack and David Cross CD in hand, we headed onto the Jersey Turnpike. There was one dominant theme throughout the whole weekend. No, aside from horror. I HATE JERSEY. Dude. When i’m driving around here, and i have to turn left, i can [...]

• Awful Weather

  We can’t be funny all the time, fuckers.

• Old as a Tortoise

  Attention all residents of Corpsefucker Lane. Today is K80K’s birthday! Cake and ice cream can be found on the table near the severed head, and the deviled eggs are in the refrigerator behind the jar of eyeballs. Please send all presents & cards to SDHQ, PO Box 666, Baltimore, MD. Send all birthday wishes to k80k@skullz.org!