Archives: September2003

• Return of the Living Tooth

  So there i was, trying to enjoy a hot slice of hawaiian pizza. Suddenly, one of the pineapples turned hard. Frantically, i spit out everything in my mouth, to find this: Yeah. What the fuck, was i a cyborg leper all of a sudden? Metal, ceramic, and miniature rebar was falling out of me. My pizza was ruined, my appetite was gone, and i had a handful of tomato sauce and dental work. I guess when Leatherface was installing the [...]

• Skies Above

  Why do weathermen always says “Boy Bob, this air pattern could get kind of rough, we’ll be monitoring it for the next few days.” Well what the fuck else are you going to do? You’re the fucking weatherman. What else do you do besides monitor the fucking weather? Are you saying you sit on your ass all day playing solitaire, and you only really watch the weather when there’s something that could potentially mess up your weekend? Fuck you! What [...]

• Filling

  Its a good time to be alive. Despite Lauren’s extensive anti-Fall defamation attempts, this is a good time indeed. Tastykake has brought back the Pumpkin Pie. Perfectly crafted, this seasonal delight is filled with the rich, heady stuff that dreams are made of. I bite into it, and i am reminded of all the good things in life, and how the good can become even better when a Pumpkin Pie is in hand. If i were on death row, rest [...]