Archives: May2003

• I need an “Exit”

  So i had this dream last night that i couldn’t stop pooping. I felt like i had a turtle-head poking out, and i just couldn’t shake it. Man, i was sitting on the toilet for like 20 miniutes. People were coming in and leaving, i had a TV in there with me, and i was watching dirt bike racing of all things. I just kept pooping, and there was no end in sight. Then i woke up. I was deathly [...]

• Minister of Pain

  The day had been drawing closer, that I, your humble narrator, would face my first dental work. I had long avoided the irritation of the dentist and his tools of terror, but finally i had a problem too severe that ignorance would no longer cure. Feeling sick, i prepared myself with Tylenol Allergy Sinus and Sleepytime chamomille tea. Reluctantly i led myself to the car and drove to the house of pain, with Third Reich From The Sun ushering me [...]