Archives: February2003

• From the Vertigo Dept.

  Man did i have a morning. It began with a wierd dream. I was at a bank, and they had to get some info out of my brain. So they opened my head up Hannibal-style, and got what they needed. They put it back together, but must’ve done something wrong. Because then, as i left and entered a record store, upon which i transformed into Joey Ramone, i began to spin. And i couldn’t stop. It was very unpleasant, and [...]

• From the Four Scores and One Year Ago Dept.

  Woohoo! Ladies and gentlemen, today is Skullzdotorg’s one year anniversary. Did anyone paypal us a cake? This is of course both true and misleading. I started the site three and a half years ago under the name Apokalypse Enterprises. There has been such history. If you guys only knew. The site was little more than some photoshop help together with popcicle sticks and duct tape, with free guestbooks as forums and a menu that took assteen years to load. I [...]

• From the Ixnay on the Uck-fay Dept.

  So we have Count Crackomatic for the weekend. What a trip kids can be. I have the following anecdotes to share: When kids say “fuck you” for the first time, its hilarious. When they say it for the second, its amusing. When its become a part of their too-limited vocabulary, its disturbing. It freaks me out to the Nth degree when kids look at you while they are taking a poop. Their face gets all red, and they have that [...]

• From the Secret Piggybank Dept.

  I have a magic boot. It produces money! All day i’ve been pulling money out of my boot. As it happens, i have a pocket full of change, and also my pocket seems to have developed a hole in it. So slowly, all day, change would fall one by one into my boot. “Well why didn’t you move your change, silly?” I’m sure you’re asking. Can’t do it. Wallet, back left pocket, change, front right pocket. Its a delicate balance, [...]

• From the Love Salad Dept.

  The deli counter. Why is it, everytime you go to the deli counter, there’s one lady with a cart full of crap, right in front of the ticket dispensor? And they never get the hint as you’re trying to inch in close to the cart. Ma’am, i’m not trying to steal your eggs, i just need a fucking number. And you’d think they’d have a clue, its not like they don’t have a ticket in their fucking hand. And this [...]

• From the When Moogles Attack Dept.

  Lauren loves me. You should too, fuckers.

• From the Out and About Dept.

  Third trip to PA. Sqwee accompanies me this time. The trip up was spooky, because we hit an awful lot of fog coming up. Not normal fog, but Freddy’s Gonna Getcha fog. My wife has moved to a new hotel, called the Host Inn. This place is unbelievable. Its basically a studio apartment. There is a living area, complete with tv and dvd player, a kitchen with full size fridge, sink, microwave and dishwasher, bedroom with king size bed, and [...]