Archives: February2002

  • Never doubt me again!

    So the client calls twice today bugging us, and she just dropped off her system two days ago! Thats always fun… No sound is her issue. “Case management said to replace the motherboard!” she’s screaming. I don’t care about case management i say. I am the Case Amdassador i say. What happens? Two hours later, BAM, fixed. Software, not hardware. Who da man?

  • What’d i step in now?

    If there’s one thing i hate in this world, its wet socks. So i’m sure it will amuse you that i, your humble narrator, put on a pair of fresh socks yesterday morning, and oh what a feeling it was, then proceeded downstairs to feed the dogs. I went to pour out old dogwater in the sink, and the water pours into a bowl, and spills right back out, all over my foot. Determined not to let this destroy my [...]

  • Rage against the Machine

    So our territory manager, who we still have yet to meet, wants a conference call with us tomorrow morning as to why we need 3 techs for the amount of systems we pull in. He is looking, of course, at February’s numbers, and not the entire year. In the month of August, for example, we may pull in 500 systems. Why we should have to justify keeping our jobs is stupid and obsurd. I hope his dog dies, then i [...]

  • There are no socks, only Zuul

    Have you ever left your closet light on by accident, and then that night go into your bedroom, and you see the eerie light coming from around the closet door? Do you ever wish that when you open the door, you would enter a parallel dimension, like Dana’s fridge in Ghostbusters? And then you hope then when go in there, you will be hailed a GOD, like emperor of the missing sock world or something? I wish that. A lot.

  • I Get Paid How Much?

    When i am sick, Zarklar keeps them at bay: And here is another shot from a client’s computer. What the hell did they do?! Notice the scissors. And the 30 monitor icons. Huh?

  • THIS WAS NOT DESIGNED FOR YOU

    Have you used the self-checkout lanes at Superfresh yet? I, like most misanthropes that avoid people whenever possible, love them. I do hate, however, people who use them, that really should not. 4 lanes. 2 lanes are taken by people with 3 million items in their cart. I go to the next lane. Lady almost done. Oops, she has 30 coupons, half of which are undoubtedly expired. Fine. After she insists on using coupons for which she has no items [...]

  • Got a life?

    So there’s this guy i stopped hanging around with well over a year ago, mainly because he was uneventful and smelly. He looks like this: and sometimes he will shave his beard, like this: so he’s hanging around a pill-popping skinhead who from what i understand makes fun of him liberally, as do most people. (My favorite stories of him are when he cries in front of his bosses, which i have heard from different jobs. Anwho, he apparently has [...]

  • Which one’s the hot one?

    On the Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure soundtrack (yes, i own them both) the last song, Two Heads are Better Than One is performed by Powertool. After a few years, i have finally noticed that this is a fake band made up of Dweezil Zappa of “How much acid did Frank Zappa take when he named his kids” Fame, and Matt & Gunner Nelson of “Aren’t they the two hot chicks in that video?” Fame. Disturbing.

  • Obsessive compulsive eh?

    The following is from a client’s computer. Note the message.